When to Borrow Someone Else's Clarity.

So many things happen beyond our control. Sometimes we react or respond, and sometimes we find ourselves in a stupor of emotions unable to think clearly and process what just happened. It’s in that moment of stupor that the best course of action may be borrowing someone else’s clarity.

                  It may be easiest to think of it this way: borrowed clarity isn't a substitute for developing your own, rather, it's a bridge to it. The goal is always to eventually see clearly for yourself, but wise people know when to ask for another person’s clarity. Knowing “when” is the key to opening the vault containing sound wisdom that can be used at our most critical decision-making moments. Identifying the proper moment to invoke the “when” may take a shift in perspective in knowing when your own efforts aren’t getting you to the place you want to go. Here are some examples that may help guide you through the process.

                  A great time to borrow someone else’s clarity is when you’re in the middle of a storm. It’s then that grief, fear, anger, or anxiety can shrink our perspective. In those moments, leaning on the wisdom of someone who has already walked through that valley, whether it’s a counselor, a friend, a piece of scripture, or sometimes even online research that can give you some stability when the ground that you’re standing on feels unstable.

                  It also makes sense to borrow another person’s clarity is when you lack experience in a specific area or a specific problem. Few of us have the knowledge and experience to perform self-diagnosis on any physical and mental health issues we find ourselves facing. But there are people whom I call “pattern-recognition experts” that can have a clear view looking at our situation from outside of our own clouded perspective. Especially with our health, or the health of someone we love, borrowing the clarity of someone who has specific knowledge and experience way beyond our own is actually wisdom accelerated. Their clarity may even save our life, especially when facing circumstances that are beyond our control.

                  Have you ever found yourself thinking about something over and over again without making any progress? I found myself doing this all the time, which is what led me to write this article seeking a solution to the “endless loop thinking pattern” that I seem to have fallen into as of late. So often I’ve found myself thinking about something so many times that I’d worn a mental rut in my brain. I recently wrote an article about whether our thoughts were just visiting our mind or whether they were taking up residence. This is precisely where a fresh perspective borrowed from someone else, can break the endless loop thinking pattern cycle and evict the thought that had taken up residence and prevented us from moving forward.

                  Borrowing someone else’s clarity is valuable when you’re too close to a problem. In business, a consultant provides a view from the outside. They help a client see situations while removing emotions, pride, and the progress-killer thoughts of “But that’s how we’ve always done things.” When we’re deep in the middle of a situation, it’s easy to get caught up in the minutia that clouds our ability to think clearly. It’s near impossible to see things clearly when we’re looking through the emotional lens of the glasses we’re wearing. A good and worthy consultant allows someone to borrow clarity and move beyond the pressure, anxiousness, and stress that we often heap on ourselves. Who are the people in your life that you trust that can play the role of consultant in your life?

                  Another critical time to borrow clarity is when a decision you’re facing affects others more than yourself. Major decisions about family, relationships, or team dynamics at work benefit from the input of those who are living in the consequences. Their clarity about what they need is more reliable than your assumptions about it. Sometimes I feel like our society has produced an army of assumption experts at a time when clarity would suggest assumption avoidance.

                  My final example of when to borrow clarity is when our personal pride clouds our ability to make sound decisions. Pride is a terrible narrator. Pride leaps over logic and lands us in the poor-decision-making zone where we unintentionally bring failure and pain to ourselves. When we're overconfident or defensive, we literally cannot access accurate self-assessment. A trusted, honest voice from outside is often the only way to eliminate allowing pride to dominate our thought processes. Think about that for a quick minute. Never let pride prevent you from borrowing someone else’s clarity. Be kind to yourself and recognize that pride has no useful value in your life, especially when you’re impacted by things beyond your control.

                  My life functions really well when I employ the benefits of utilizing lists. I love lists. In the process of researching the ability to know when to borrow someone else’s clarity, I ended up making a list of all the current thoughts looping in my mind that had taken up residence with no path forward in sight. Wow! Was that list ever helpful. Lately, I’ve been on a “borrowing clarity frenzy” and I discovered something interesting in the process. The discussions that have occurred have provided a win/win, both for me and the person I’ve sought to borrow clarity from. AND…the amount of inner-peace I’m feeling has skyrocketed.

My hope is that you too, right now, will create a list of the things that are looping in YOUR mind with no path forward in sight. Then take action, reach out to the appropriate people, and borrow their clarity. You’ll also have a huge increase in inner-peace. You really are worth the effort. Hey…I Believe In YOU! GiddyUp!