What we need more of these days is Mercy.
It’s been said that Mercy is one of those qualities that separates truly great people from merely successful ones. When I began to think deeply about that statement, I realized that mercy is a step beyond success and is rarely pursued when any person achieves success given that success alone signals the achievement of the original goal. Success after all is the stopping place, the end of the journey, the time to step off the “bus of life” now that a person has reached their intended destination. But does it have to be?
What if the achievement of any success or goal acted instead like a temporary pausing point where you recalculated your direction to an even better destination? To an even better life? To a place where the greatest feelings of fulfillment and contentment lie waiting? Mercy is just one step beyond success and offers everything that success alone can’t. Strange, isn’t it? Mercy is something we crave being granted any and every time we make a mistake but, in order to ask for it shouldn’t we be really good at providing it to others? Maybe that’s why mercy might be the most underrated character trait on any list because mercy costs the giver something, which is what gives it its weight and significance.
It’s amazing how much I personally grew when I began to research what mercy could look like if I were the one sharing it with others. I quickly realized that it would take a shift of perspective on any person’s part, sometimes a major shift, for mercy to be given to others naturally and unconditionally. Easy? Not necessarily. Worthwhile? Yes, more than nearly everything else in life. Life enhancing? Yes, when you give it away without strings attached and when you receive it even though you may not deserve it.
So, what are some ways all of us can show mercy to others? Choosing forgiveness over retaliation when someone wrongs you. Not holding past failures over someone’s head after the matter is settled. Giving a person second chances – sometimes third ones – when others have written that person off. Withholding criticism when silence serves better than correction (so hard, but one of the most powerful ways to show mercy).
Additional ways to show mercy to others? When you assume the best possible motive before assuming the worst. Remembering your own failures before condemning someone else’s. Also, recognizing that everyone is fighting a battle that you can’t fully see. Letting something go that you have every right to pursue. When you help a person who has hurt you in the past, simply because the need for mercy is real. And especially, giving someone more time, more grace, or more benefit of the doubt than they “deserve” to receive.
When considering a shift in perspective regarding mercy, I’ve already mentioned that it’s not necessarily easy. In fact, in the early stages it can be hard due to the negative perspective conditioning that we’ve all received over the course of our life from things like the media, gossip, desire for acceptance by others, social media, our own self-doubt, and more. But persistently attempting to show mercy to others becomes natural and easier the more we practice it. Like with everything else, consistent practice leads to constant and never-ending improvement.
You’ll know that you’ve made great progress in giving and sensitively showing mercy to others when you find yourself using your influence to protect rather than punish, or when you choose the lighter consequence even though a much harsher one could be justified. I’ve also learned that you can recognize a person that has become proficient at showing mercy to others when you witness them advocating for someone who has no voice of their own. I’ve personally witnessed this hundreds of times as part of the community of people with disabilities. They’re just one of several groups in our current society that deserve so much more mercy than they typically receive.
While I’m not aware of anyone who doesn’t have some form of hurt deep in their heart and fresh in their mind, I have discovered that everyone can benefit from being shown some mercy. Why can’t that mercy be provided by you? You wouldn’t believe the giant step forward your own personal joy and happiness can take when you’re simply showing mercy to others. Showing mercy provides self-sustaining joy and happiness.
When you become better at showing mercy to others, you’ll also find mercy being given back to you for any of your mistakes or misgivings because of what people now see is in your heart. Your character traits of kindness, compassion, and caring about others will have been amplified for others to naturally witness, and actions of mercy act like a magnet that attracts the same character traits from others.
The heart of mercy is this: YOU have the power to harm, withhold, or condemn….and you choose not to. That’s precisely what makes it so powerful. Anyone can be kind to someone who deserves it. Mercy kicks in precisely when someone doesn’t deserve it. Like I said earlier in this article, mercy might be the most underrated character trait on any list because mercy costs the giver something, which is what gives it its weight and significance. And don’t forget, for what mercy costs, giving and showing mercy to others delivers the most significant return to your own personal joy and happiness.
Make the commitment today to begin watching for opportunities to show mercy to others. Every time you’re out in the public, at home with your family, at the place you’re employed, or with a friend; seek to heal the hurt in other people’s heart by freely showing them mercy. You’ll never regret the attempt. Whether the mercy you show is accepted or not, you will have grown better in the process. YOU matter! YOUR life matters! YOU make a difference in the world! Hey…I Believe In YOU! GiddyUp!