The Value of a Trusted Friend’s Referral.
We don’t often recognize the value of a referral from a person we know, trust, and admire. A solid referral is really just an opinion based on previous experience, and could be positive or negative, but when it comes from someone we know, trust, and admire it can greatly reduce stress and anxiety regarding matters that mean a lot to us. Examples would include the search for a primary care Physician, a Dentist, an Optometrist, or a Surgeon.A referral could also play a role in selecting a day-care provider, Veterinarian, site for a wedding reception, clothing alterations shop, insurance agent, or house of worship. All of those could play an important role in our life. The comfort and peace that comes from having a doctor, dentist, daycare, school, veterinarian, and more in the right place whenever we need their services has a huge impact on our overall joy and happiness.
It really all comes down to how we go about seeking clarity in our decision making. If you’re a high-level risk-taker, the internet has an endless supply of opinion from people you’ve never met, don’t know anything about, and have zero evidence that they’re someone whom you can trust. If that doesn’t feel right for you, the best option is for you to ask people that you know, trust, and admire. This is easiest when you belong to some type of group. The group could be people that you work with, people whose children go to the same school, are on the same athletic team, are a member of the same school band or orchestra, or on the same robotics team as your kids. The commonality that your kids share typically offers opportunities to engage with other kids’ parents. Organizations like Civic clubs (Rotary, Lions, Civitan, Kiwanis, Optimist, and more) are places you’ll find people with a desire to help others. They’re good people to surround yourself with. Sharing commonalities is always a great place to begin to form friendships.
One of my favorite places to seek referrals from people I know, trust, and admire is through involvement with the church we regularly attend. It’s always seemed obvious to me that the people who consistently pursue some form of faith at least attempt to live the tenet of their chosen faith. Trust seems to come quicker with people of strong faith. One additional benefit is typically the significant number of people that gather at a house of worship. For people that have moved to a new town, it’s most likely a church or house of worship that they would find the best referrals in seeking a new doctor, dentist, daycare, or hair salon and barber.
If churches aren’t your thing, then consider volunteering at a local non-profit. The other volunteers you meet at a non-profit are some of the most unselfish people you’ll ever run into. They’re natural helpers and will freely share useful advice when they have an opportunity to help someone else. Trust can be built in minutes versus the years it takes with casual acquaintances.
Think of when you last moved to a new town. Weren’t you curious as to where to find the best produce and other food items? Where a trustworthy mechanic was to work on your vehicle? Which doctors accept the health insurance you just switched to? Didn’t you want to find a preschool that was the very best match for your children knowing their personalities and how they would best “fit in?” Weren’t you hopeful that you’re search would end with success? Eventually you found your way and hopefully it was with the help of a person you shared a commonality with and their kind referral.
I’m imagining that most of you reading this article have already established a secure relationship with a doctor, dentist, daycare provider, mechanic, and other people that play an important role in your life. But new things pop up all the time like a lease that’s about to expire and your desire to find a new place that better serves your needs, or a roof that needs to be replaced, or a vehicle that just broke down, or a refrigerator that went kerplunk. Knowing someone that you trust that may have recently gone through the same challenge is an invaluable life tool…and it’s available to all of us.
So much of what I’ve written about here today emphasizes one of the rewards of having friendships. Successful friendships are based on the positive flow of trust, mutual admiration, and a sense of belonging to something built on a give and take win/win model. My focus on referrals from a friend has been mostly about the take side of a friendship, but it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t ask you to ponder the things you give back to any and all relationships/friendships that are part of your current life. While there’s a lot to appreciate in taking a friend’s referral, there’s even more joy when you’re the one helping someone else with a referral. Any referral relies on solid communication. Be a friend and communicate by sharing stories of what you’ve learned from your personal experiences. It’s a beautiful way to live. Hey…I Believe In YOU! GiddyUp!