It’s Better to be Kind than Right.
Did you ever read or hear a saying, or quote, that had a profound impact on you? Not just at the moment you first experienced it, but one that created positive change for the rest of your life? Sayings, or quotes, frequently have a positive impact on my life. If someone asked me why, I would probably suggest that my heart and mind are open to accepting a different perspective.
In the late 20teens, I began to notice a shift in the culture of our society. “Being right” about something….anything….EVERYTHING…seemed to be the most important driving force in most people’s life. Social media provided a much larger audience as we all attempted to prove that we were right about everything from the most trivial of subjects (should toilet paper pull from the top or bottom) to major subjects (political party affiliation, economic direction, environmental issues). It appeared that the desire to be right drove many people to a place that may have previously been “out of character” for them. Think about it. In order for you to be right, someone else has to be wrong. For you to win, someone else has to lose. Seems like the isolation that Covid brought greatly amplified righteousness in our society with its impact lingering on to this day.
But, is there a place in this world where, rather than creating winners and losers, we all embrace the unique skill sets that each person possesses and form teams that could work together to see what they can create together? That’s exactly what Matthew Barzun envisions in his book entitled “The Power of Giving Away Power.” Seems like being consumed by the insatiable desire to be right leaves us with empty tanks when we need to fuel our love, compassion, kindness, hope, and emotional support for others. Working together where the uniqueness of each individual is respected, embraced, and utilized to its full potential, well….it’s hard to comprehend all of the goodthat could be achieved.
I’m beginning to sense that people are tiring of always having to be right. I think that’s why I clung so hard to the saying “It’s better to be kind than right” when I heard it in a movie a while back. The saying “hit me” as such a profound and wonderful thought process that I wrote it down immediately and began to wonder what it could mean for my life. It appears that when people attempt to be right, the first emotion that gets triggered is righteousness. The second is anger and anger is the shortest path to hopelessness.
Being kind triggers many positive emotions including love, compassion, hope, gratitude, caring, and best of all causes a release of serotonin in our brain which brings us immediate joy and happiness. Same thing happens to the person we’re being kind to. Why in the world aren’t we all pursuing kindness each day with every interaction we have with others? Being kind improves every interaction each and every time we utilize it. Being kind never fails.
Historically, kindness has been included in the foundation of all major religions. I’m not aware of anyone who hasn’t heard the phrase “Love thy neighbor.” This wonderful community we live in reminds me of the incredible amount of “Love Thy Neighbor” that occurs each and every day when we embrace a week of “Neighboring” each year. It helps me re-live the intense joy I experienced when I witnessed the compassion, caring, love, and support that this community had for all the people impacted by the flood in May of 2020 from several dam’s giving way. Witnessing at that time how people came together to help each other regardless of political party, race, social status, or economic standing has made me a better human, and in turn a better community member, husband, father, and yes, a better neighbor.
We’re all fortunate that we live in a community where the leaders of it don’t worry about who wins and who loses, they don’t spend time on who’s right and who’s wrong. They just like being a member of the team, contributing their own unique skill sets on a quest to see “what can we create together?”. In doing so, they’ve created a wonderful community for us all to embrace and enjoy allowing us to spend each day on being kind rather than right. So wonderful that our community was recently named the best place to retire in the United States.
If you check out social media these days, you’ll realize that there’s still no shortage of people attempting to be right. I wish there was a shortage. Maybe we could create a shortage if we could show them the immediate and long-term value of being kind.
Maybe if we all respect the unique abilities each of us possess, we could form a team (ie community) focused on the great accomplishments we could create working together, eliminate winners and losers, and simply focus on being kind to every person we each encounter every day. After all, it’s better….much better….to be kind than right. Commit to trying it for as little as one week and you’ll prove to yourself that being kind works every time in every situation. So, get busy and amplify your kindness super-power. You’ll be happier when you do. Hey…I Believe In YOU! GiddyUp!