1st: Write Your Own Eulogy. 2nd: Live So It’s True!
I recently had someone tell me that everyone should write their own eulogy to be read at their (hopefully years and years away) funeral. This statement seemed so absurd to me that I just had to ask them why they thought this was a good idea. Upon their explaining the “Why” I came to embrace this as a wonderful “life enhancement” tool and want to share it with you.
As the person explained the “Why” to me they referenced the 2nd habit from Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People” which is entitled: Begin with End in Mind. In this chapter, Covey takes a person on a journey attending their own funeral where 4 people will be delivering a portion of the eulogy. Each person represents one of the following: a family member, a friend, a co-worker, and someone from the community that knew them well. Covey then asks the journeyer to describe what each of these people will say. Covey then conveys that the journeyer has the greatest influence on what will be said by the way they live their life prior to death. I love this thought process, have written about the 2nd habit before, and attempt to live each day of my life keeping the end in mind. But writing my own eulogy? I wasn’t convinced….yet.
Next, the person explaining the “Why” shared that, upon writing their own eulogy, they were driven by words that were part of their wedding vows. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs….faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. This shook me up a little because over 30 years ago, those words were part of MY OWN wedding vows. I had said them, but honestly, I was kind of caught up in the moment way back then and had never pondered since whether I had actually lived those words each day.
As I considered all the weddings I’ve attended in my life, I reckon those words about love have been part of over 50% of the vows I’ve heard. Now, someone was telling me that those words were key to creating a eulogy to live up to. It was then that they shared that a well-written eulogy we write for ourselves can provide guidance, kind of like a road map, for how we live our life each day moving forward so that everything contained in our eulogy represents an honest and accurate description of what defines our character and our life as a whole.
My thought process suddenly shifted and had me asking myself: Am I patient? Am I kind? Do I envy? Do I boast? Am I prideful? Have I been rude? Am I selfish? Am I quick to frustration and anger? Do I judge and keep track of those that have wronged me? Ouch…those are tough questions to look in the mirror and answer honestly. But I began to see the powerful value that writing my own eulogy could have for the way I live my life. Wouldn’t it be great if people at our funeral described us as consistently being patient, kind, compassionate, encouraging, inspiring, helpful, a great listener, and supportive? Would they have evidence indicating we were a great son/daughter, spouse, parent, neighbor, and community member?
As my excitement quickly grew to get started embracing this new “life enhancement” tool writing my own eulogy, I was informed that thoughtfully writing it was just the beginning. People that had accomplished the writing of their own eulogy parked it by the curb with good intentions they never followed through on. Any value that may have been created with the completion of the written eulogy was just a waste of time if it didn’t impact the real reason this document was created for.
The purpose of writing your own eulogy is so that between now and the time you pass on you have a personal guide, road map, or simple path to help you become the person your eulogy claims you are at the time of its eventual reading. This takes consistent action on your part. Action that has you taking a review each day moving forward that measures your progress as you approach becoming the person you not only want to be, but the person you are destined to be. And that’s one awesome person!
In reality, once you have your eulogy written and you begin living life as the person your eulogy describes, your subconscious takes over like an autopilot on a plane. That’s how this eulogy life-enhancement tool is designed to work. You become a better version of who you already are when you live so your eulogy is true. So, I’m urging you to1st: embrace writing your eulogy right now and 2nd: begin living those words you’ve written in a way that provides evidence that that’s who you really are. It’s a new tool for your tool kit for living a wonderful life. Get writing. Why? Because, Hey I Believe In YOU! GiddyUp!