Isn’t it time we all removed our (imaginary) masks?
Prior to Covid happening, I never dreamed that I would ever walk into a bank wearing a mask and ask for money. After all, except for Halloween, anyone wearing a mask pre-covid was intentionally trying to hide their identity, their true motives, and any character traits that could be used to identify what they were really up to and what they were really thinking.
Wearing masks during the height of covid has had a huge lasting impact on our society. It changed the way we treat each other without any of us even realizing it. Masks stripped us of one of the most important parts of our identity leaving us without the ability to allow others to observe our entire face and the feedback that helps others process our mood and demeanor. We could be wearing a huge smile behind our mask and the person we’re engaged with would never know. When engaging with someone wearing a mask, we were forced to rely on body language, voice inflection and if we were lucky, the sincerity of what the person’s eyes communicated. While nearly all of us have removed the physical mask, it sure feels like a lot of us continue to wear an imaginary one when we think no one will see us.
It’s easy to understand why social media became a primary form of communication with others in our society when we were all isolated at the start of covid. It helped with the loneliness we were all experiencing having been stripped of our communal time with others at work, in the community, at the grocery store, at coffee shops and everywhere else we interacted with others on a daily basis. Interaction that we all took for granted. We never dreamed of it being any other way.
Social media worked well during isolation as we all waited for vaccines and for life to move back in a direction that it had once been before. It was a great way to keep up with family and friends, and it was thrilling to see nearly everyone sharing what was working well, and what wasn’t working, as we all journeyed down an unfamiliar path of a new way of daily life. But then things began to open back up, and daily life began a slow journey back to what we had once known. We were still wearing masks every time we left the safe environment of our home and ventured out into public space, but the hope that came from being able to physically by present while engaging with others was exhilarating.
Admittedly, during that period when everyone was wearing a mask, having conversations with others required a lot more focused attention and concentrated listening to fully understand what someone was communicating without the benefit of the facial expressions that we had come to rely on. After all, during any conversation we all have an inherent desire to attempt to understand what’s being communicated. At the same time, we all want to avoid ever being misunderstood.
Social media was growing fast prior to covid, but covid seemed to amplify the role it began to play in all of our lives. Today it represents a powerful tool impacting our current culture and each of our lives whether we utilize it or not. The primary issue is adopting the perspective that every single post on social media is created by an individual, group, or company wearing a mask.
That mask prevents us from utilizing the cues that are available to us in a face-to-face conversation. No facial expressions. No voice inflection and tonality. No body language. Just the words we are left to interpret as we search for the true meaning of what’s trying to be communicated. It’s then that we turn to what we perceive that person’s, group’s, or company’s true character is defined by to aid us in understanding what we’re reading.
It’s the same with videos or reels that are posted. We’re attracted to the ones that are most similar to our own personal character and values, but that’s not necessarily what the social media site’s algorithm is placing in front of us. And frankly, it’s near impossible to accurately define someone’s true character and values using their posts on social media. Why? Because every post on social media is generated by someone still wearing and hiding behind a mask. There are so many people out there that are suffering mentally, emotionally, physically, and suffering from extreme loneliness whose social media posts make it appear that they aren’t suffering at all.
What a can person do about all this? A good step 1 would be to engage in face-to-face contact with family, friends, neighbors, and social media friends as often as possible. Face-to-face contact provides all the benefits that lead to the highest level of understanding. It can near eliminate the misunderstanding that commonly starts with “But your text, email, or social media post said…” and is really our most valuable form of communication.
A good step 2 could be a Facetime or video call where you can see the person you’re communicating with and they can see you. A good step 3 can be utilizing a phone call as an opportunity to communicate. For all three steps it’s important to have some level of trust with another person, group, or co-worker if you’re going to share feelings that are important to you or if you’re going to be on the receiving side of someone sharing what’s important to them with you.
I’ve always been amazed with how my close friend who’s blind is able to discern a person’s true character and values through nothing more than the spoken word. I’ve asked her about it and been able to improve my listening skills with her help. Several friends of mine are hard of hearing and have shared with me that as their hearing ability began to fade, they trained themselves to notice facial cues and body language to aid them in hearing what was being communicated. That’s helped me immensely.
Today, I’m asking you to remove the imaginary mask you sometimes (or always) wear and make it easier for others to engage with you, to hear your story, to offer you love and caring compassion during the times you need it most. I’m also asking you to take the mask off whenever someone initiates engaging with you.
Will you be more vulnerable when you remove the mask? Yes, and you’ll also be positioning yourself to live the highest quality of life while experiencing the highest level of joy that your life can bring you. That’s my sincere hope for you. Hey…I Believe In YOU! GiddyUp!