Life Lessons, Loss, and Lasting Connections.
Today marks my 50th High School Class Reunion, a milestone I am unable to attend due to a family commitment. I have chosen to attend my cousin's “Celebration of Life,” instead. He passed away at the tender age of 50 after a courageous battle with cancer. While in school growing up a local corporation, that I still admire greatly, promoted a motto: Life is Fragile. Handle with Care. I still see proof of that motto every single day. As I reflect on my high school years, I am reminded of the valuable life lessons my classmates imparted on me (and still do), shaping who I am today and the character traits that continue to drive my life.
In high school, fitting in with peers that we had something in common with was a significant focus. It’s a challenge that remains unchanged with our current culture. I witnessed this as our four sons navigated the same school system, albeit at my crosstown rival schools, that I did into adulthood. “Fitting in” is such a critical ingredient for success in our K-12 experience and shapes much of our future life. As we mature, we more intuitively recognize the profound value of friendships and connections. Our character development often deepens post-high school, influenced by our unique life experiences.
At our 10-year reunion, many classmates had established careers, marriages, and families, yet were still seeking the formula for lifelong happiness. The short list of classmates who had passed away was a sobering reminder of life's fragility, challenging our youthful sense of invincibility.
By the 25th reunion, we had clearer measures of success, with many living their dreams while others faced challenges. Most had found their niche, embracing shared experiences and the importance of community. The loss of additional classmates continued to evoke curiosity about their lives and dreams. Did they reach their most important goals and dreams, and did life turn out the way they had hoped it would? I sure hope so.
Approaching our 50th reunion, social media has transformed our connections, allowing us to share joys and sorrows, fostering compassion and understanding. We’re all in our late 60s and we've softened, shedding past judgments and simply wishing happiness and joy for one another. We've all experienced life's highs and lows, and we are acutely more aware of our mortality.
Before my cousin's celebration of life was scheduled, I had planned to engage deeply with my classmates at the reunion, eager to hear their life stories. I intended to ask, "We graduated, then what happened?" along with questions about their life's priorities and influences, to uncover the essence of their journeys. What lessons had they learned along the way? What had been their triumphs and tragedies? How were they approaching the future and what did they hold onto as important these days?
Our 50th reunion re-unites former cross-town rivals once again, a testament to the power of shared history. I was so proud at our 40th reunion that our schools first chose to hold it together. The most recent list of the departed shows we’ve lost 141 out of the 890 of us that graduated in 1975. Roughly 16%. Reality often produces strong feelings of sadness that have us asking the unanswerable question “Why?”. Personally, the only place I can find peace with the “why question” is through my faith. It helps me help others. I’ll lean on my faith heavily as I’m attending my cousin’s celebration of life.
One of the greatest values of aging is that the righteousness we embraced when we were young evaporates…and love, compassion, and selflessness grows. I’m grateful for the time spent with my classmates growing into adulthood, and I hold sincere hope for each of you to continue your pursuit of, and achievement of, all of your dreams. Each of you matter. Your life matters. And each of you are appreciated, respected, and loved. Thanks for being part of my life. Always remember, I Believe In You! GiddyUp!
Paul White is a Guest Syndicated Columnist and Author. You can contact him with your positive thoughts at 1deepwriter@gmail.com and find more information, links to ordering his book, and previous articles at www.theanswerdiscovery.com. GiddyUp!